I have tried different types of meditations i.e. focusing on breath, focusing on a point of light, five senses meditation and the one that I have been able to stick to on a daily basis is a vedic mantra based meditation taught by Deborah King. From what I know even Transcendental Meditation uses the same format.
The following are benefits I have experienced from practicing this meditation everyday for 5 years now:
I feel lighter- I lost some unwanted weight which I had gained from not eating right over a period of 2 years and it didn’t help that I had to undergo a heavy dose of antibiotics at that same time. I also feel lighter mentally and emotionally.
A healthy sense of detachment – issues that would bother me earlier, now tend to slip away quicker from my mind. I don’t hold on to someone else’s opinion of me or what I should be doing with my life or not investing time and energy in things that do not align with me. I stay away from talking to people who I know bring nothing but drama in my life.
A heightened sense of purpose – the best word I have for this is a sense of alignment to your true core. Another word for this is being in alignment with your Dharma.
Creating a healthier lifestyle- Meditation is sort of a reset button which over a period of time provides you with an upgraded version of yourself. Up until last 3 years or so, I wouldn’t mind having beer/wine when I met friends and sometimes I would go and buy it for myself but in the last 2-3 years I have no desire for it. I may have had 1-2 glasses of wine on New Year’s and that’s just it. It doesn’t feel like control, there’s just no desire. Your body also tunes into healthy foods and eating/exercising. I am no longer attracted to Starbucks Coffee and Lattes which I was almost addicted to!
Sharper intuition- This is one of my favorite things to have developed. It’s a deep sense of knowing. It’s instant. It’s knowing things like when a cop is around you but you cannot see him/her or just taking a turn which helped you avoid an accident. It’s also a sharper sense of knowing when one of your friends needs to talk to you. This sense also helps you attract the authors/workshops etc..things that are in alignment with you, including people. And yes, I have also found that the relationships that fade away are also for good.
Looking younger- with all the research that is now available on the physiological benefits of meditation, looking younger is a nice side effect .You look younger because meditation helps your body de-stress much deeper at a cellular level.
Maintaining calm in the middle of a storm- Over the years some people asked me how I could keep calm and see myself through the obstacles that I had, when I look back, in addition to the people who were supporting me, meditation was my true backbone that kept me still. It has kept me from entering a state of clinical depression/anxiety. Also, for those who are curious, check out research on how Meditation works on the HPA axis in our body. I read about it in Bruce Lipton’s book titled ‘Biology of Belief’.
In today’s high tech stressful world where we co-exist with thousands of invisible electromagnetic fields, meditation helps fortify our own energy field! It’s the recharge we need which is easily available to us.
It is scary..to not know. To not know where you are headed when you have always felt like you did. You took pride in your clarity of purpose and alignment of every thought, action and word. It makes you question the very foundation that you once stood on and built yourself. Fears and insecurities begin to surface and your sense of certainty in who you are isn’t certain anymore. It is a place where you feel that you are simply ‘in between’. Every aspect of your life is being gently ripped apart. Tears flow through the eyes unexplained as if the soul needs to be cleansed. Almost as if the well inside is full and needs to pour outside. You feel slightly embarrassed sharing this with friends who have known you to be their anchor in trying times. Friends who have seen you as somebody who is sure of her dreams. It is that ‘sure’ which I am no longer sure about. There seems to be a state of confusion or transformation to be more precise. It is something like you are standing in the center and everything else around you is moving and you are a mere spectator, clueless and yet in it.
As often cited in textbooks, these moments catch you and begin to surface more when you are alone. You can ignore it once, twice perhaps thrice but the fourth time you simply cannot. I have postponed the welling up of these thoughts several times until now and somehow today I could no longer do it. I knew that I had to write it down. A lot of my dreams in the past few months had signaled me towards change and transformation. However I did not exactly know what that ‘feels’ like. It feels like something is being pulled out of you..a sense of death and dying in a way. Sometimes you feel lost and begin wondering ‘how did I get here’ and ‘Do I need to be some place else’. It is soul wrenching and a quiet pain. It is subdued for the most part but it for sure is there. Any traces of ‘ I know who I am’ and thereby the swollen ego syndrome is all washed away. Perhaps this is what the tears are for..to wash away, to cleanse, to make you humble and more human in your imperfections.
There are moments where I want to hide my face into someone’s chest, someone who can assure me that ‘this too shall pass’ and that I am with you no matter what. The anxiety of being human and the need to be rescued. Feeling as I do, I also have no choice but to be with myself right now ( I laughed as I wrote this). Is it the dark night of the soul? May be. All the times when I would wonder ‘how can someone be afraid of change’ and one just needs to have faith are all being offered to me as personal experiences. Don’t know if anyone likes being in this phase but as always I am hoping that I can shine through this and emerge a clear diamond. I often say that strong headed or stubborn people need harder lessons to get through their tough heads and guess what..I am in one right now! Taking my bow to life and spirit!
Seems like I need to simply surrender and then my ego comes right back at me telling me to ‘do’ something. It says, you cannot simply sit back and let this happen, you need to take charge. These are perhaps my mind’s attempts to hold on to whatever I know, that is if I know anythingJ
My Spirit wants to dance……but she will have to wait
Manresa beach, California
My Spirit wants to dance. She knows the best rhythm and beat that would make her dance but is shying away from it. She dances on other beats too but does not shine in them. If it was only for these beats, she would have danced her way through life but it seems the flooring provided to her isn’t suiting the footsteps. The shoes are hurting when she dances on this floor yet she is trying to adjust. The beat also does not excite her right now but she fools herself by trying to believe so. I have instructed her to believe and live with some of these facts – that she will have to wait for a while…
Her care takers fail to see the glow she has when her body strikes the rhythm it is meant to serve. They want her to dance on the tunes, they had chosen for her. I am indebted to them for all the care and support they have given me through years. She does not seem to care for it and only knows her rhythm. She does not want to understand the circumstances that I am in and she does not understand any debt. She says, when you let me dance, all your debts shall be repaid. I do believe in her but I am scared that my care takers won’t understand her. If I support her, I know I will start living, for, right now I just exist. Once when she danced through me it seemed to be the best feeling ever. I did not want to stop her. I wanted that feeling of being alive each moment of my life. I spoke to them about it. Alas! They themselves were denied their rhythm. I cannot blame them for what they make her do but I feel suffocated when she cannot flow through me. For, she is sole reason for my “being”.
The rhythm of the universe keeps knocking within and I can’t open the doors. I can feel the beauty she wants to show me but cannot bear suppressing it. In moments of quiet, I let her dance. In her rejoice, then, lies my pain. I do not talk about her with others because when I did, I found myself to be foolish. Most of the seasons, I am left alone with her and she asks me, “when will you give me my wings”. I cannot explain to her the many silly reasons my caretakers load me with. When I talk to her about it, she blames me for not having the courage to keep up my promise. Sometimes, walking along some lonely streets, I witness some spirits who have found and are living their own rhythm. I keep quiet as she enviously looks at them. I fear, one day, she may stop knocking!
I know she is selfish. Much to my surprise, it is only in such selfishness that I have found veracity. It is only when I let her be, I feel beautiful and purged. She wants me to know that all I need to do is to let her take charge and the rest shall be fine. I sit here waiting for the moment when she no longer asks for my permission and storms herself through me…Possibly, I lack that force right now…
Wandering about in wasteful times, I pity my inability to live “her”. But, I want and need her in me, hence I dance with her when she is about to get into a recluse. This is how I save my Spirit and pacify her by saying, “the day is not too far when you and I shall be one”. She smiles and gives me another chance to save myself…