When You Love Someone…

Love is one of the most universal emotions we experience. Different cultures, ages, periods, geographies but this is one emotion that is like the air that is always there. For the most fundamental reason that human beings are the same essentially but may be just packaged and conditioned a bit differently having born and brought up on a different mud. Even though it is one of the most universal emotions, it is also one of the most diverse in its expression. Or may be interpretation of the same emotion changes by the equation the two people involved in it and experiencing it share. For most or many of us the understanding that is provided to us of Love is most likely equated to the act of possession. For example- When you love someone or someone loves you, he becomes yours and vice versa. There are many interpretations to this expression too. It is exercising a right that you feel on that individual’s life. You want to know all that happens in his life. The purest intention that supports this is the feeling that you want to be a part of everything that happens in his life. You feel like sharing it , for , you are concerned about him and also want to protect him from anything bad that could happen.

As much as these intentions are pure, their manifestations take a toll in our lives if we completely give into them. It gives rise to an expectation that, the person whom you love should always be in touch with you and keep informing you of all happenings. In today’s tech savvy world, may be one is expected to atleast keep messaging if not calling every one hour. As long as the statistics of the calls is maintained, all is fine but when it changes for any genuine reason, one is accused of losing interest in the relationship and we throw up words like-“ You don’t love me as much as you did”, “ the madness has faded away”. The concern assumes lesser importance than the number of calls of messages exchanged. May be somewhere we live with unrealistic notions that the honeymoon period will always stay, the time when you traveled hours just to meet your beloved once or maybe called up 50 times a day. May be we need to understand that as time passes the relationship matures, needs change and what was earlier communicated by 50 calls, just takes the glance of an eye today.

Someone very truly recognized that change is the only constant in life and that we must learn to love like flowing stream of water …adapting itself yet maintaining itself. Whenever you feel that loss of harmony in you , may be it would be a good idea to sit down and take a check, understand what is happening inside you. More often than not, you will realize that sometimes we crib because we do not know another way of responding to a situation and possibly lack the required time to invest in the activity. For example: You had planned a date 15 days in advance but due to some unforeseen circumstances, it cannot happen. What do you do? As humans, our first reaction will be to complain, to crib, to try and pull it on anyways. When this happens, may be we could just silence ourselves for a moment, acknowledge what is happening inside and choose to respond in a more beautiful manner. Tough, it is but once you make up your mind to choose happiness in a relationship then there can be no stopping. It is an addiction and mind you, a good one indeed.

From my brief understanding of this oceanic emotion, I understand that it is meant to give life and not snatch it away from someone. It is meant to give happiness and not take it away. Many a times in the name of love, we give a lot of pain to the person involved because he possibly does not act the way we want him to. Loving someone does not give you an authority to command him to change or mould as per your wishes. At times when we are unhappy with a certain behavior of the person, we need to understand that WE are unhappy with the behavior and the behavior per se may or may not be wrong. For instance, you may expect him to take you for a candle light dinner every week and you feel dejected if he does not. In response, you do not talk to him for days to come but never even let him know what disturbs you , for you want him to guess it from the tone of your voiceJ Come on, just take a break from yourself!

Sometimes it is fun to register the emotions we fall prey to. More often than not, you will laugh at yourself and make things easier for you and the people around you…All the best buddy!

Note: The use of “He/Him” here substitutes for “She/Her” too.

3 thoughts on “When You Love Someone…

  1. I am reminded of P.B.Shelley’s poem :One word is to often profaned For me to profane it, One feeling too falsely disdain’dFor thee to disdain it.One hope is too like despair,For prudence to smother,And pity from thee more dearThan that from another.I can give not what man call love;But wilt thou accept notThe worship the heart lifts aboveAnd the Heaven reject not:The desire for the moth for the star,Of the night for the morrow,The devotion to something afarFrom the sphere of our sorrow?


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