I have had enough..a fallacy..atleast in my life!
Throughout my life till now (mind you I have lived 25 long years) I always had experiences that called for more than the normal from me. Mainly the environment at home made me grow at a pace much faster than my peers. That’s how I registered a gap between my biological and mental age. In those stressful situations when I handled myself I felt like a positive survivor (why positive? Because some people survive by default without liking it). It called for me becoming independent for I could not look upto many elders for advice (they were not given to me in my surroundings for a long time).
Many years later in my teens I started meeting people who wanted me to open up to them and wanted me to feel good by loving me in their own ways in the very little time we met. They helped in their own ways and are angels to me. In the whole process till a few months back, I started subconsciously discounting the advice given to me by elders because I never really learnt to listen to them with 2 adults at my home always quarreling with each other. I began to live in a notion that I understand things much better than they do which was true to quite an extent but may not always be so. I grew up to be matured but also began to make the mistake of equaling people much older than me (older = experienced, right?). In the process, I began just listening to myself and not to anybody else except 1 person who had become a father figure to me.
When I entered the real life job situations, I entered with a confidence that I could handle anything and that I really did not need anybody’s help. I was more of “telling” than “Listening”. I met 2 beautiful people on work who till date are very close to me. They got close to me for the same reasons that I am positive, matured and had goodwill for all. These 2 people were again much elder to me, but we clicked somewhere and well indeed. Over a period of time, as I got more and more love( which I was probably wanting to have), I made some mistakes which I would otherwise preach people not to do. What were they?..Taking them for granted, many a times not involving them in a decision or not even informing certain things which for me was normal because I grew up thinking and acting for myself. With these 2 people so close, I was experiencing a matured relationship for the first time. After having read this, you may think how I call myself matured!! True, isn’t it?
Having had a tough time for many years, I made one mistake of thinking “I have had enough”. With these situations given to me I understood (hope I have) that one can never say “I have had enough” and close himself to learning. One may be good at certain aspects but there’s an ocean of things to be learnt. Those situations given early in my life did help me grow faster but I guess, since I am still alive I have lots more to learn from different beautiful people around me.
The polishing of a diamond never really ends; it is just that it shines enough to make us feel that it has been polished enough. Can the diamond ever know how much has it been polished?