Grief is a natural response to any kind of loss. Loss of a loved one, losing your sense of identity, or even a perceived sense of loss. It is hard to lose someone who has lived and now is not around. It is sometimes harder to let go of the losses that occur during a divorce, break up, physical moving to another place etc. No loss is bigger than the other and no one’s pain is lesser than the other. Grieving is necessary to heal. Most cultures have a group ritual/ceremony around a death which brings people together for support and provide a platform to release the pain and hurt.
You can create your own ritual to help you grieve. 5 healthy ways to grieve include:
1) Writing a letter to the person mentioning everything you would have liked to say. You can even read your letter out loud.
2) Collecting pictures and making a collage in memory of the deceased person.
3) Allowing yourself to be angry if that is what you feel.
4) Lighting a candle or incense for a certain number of days in memory of the deceased.
5) Stay in silence for a few days and or scream out your pain.
You can choose to burn the letter/ pictures. You can also do a combination of the above. Just follow your heart. It is also important to understand that grieving the loss of your ‘old’ self is as valid as grieving the loss of a loved one. You know a sense of loss intuitively and do not let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Above all, seeking professional help from a compassionate individual is always an option.